We’ve all heard the slanderous, “hot dog in a hallway,” comment at least once in our lifetime.
Because when it comes to attacking women, we just LOVE to go for the jugular of vaginal integrity.
No matter how absurd the reference to junk food schlongs getting lost in the vastness of a gaping vagina is, it hurts because culture and society have really got us believing our value is intrinsically linked to the purity of our punani.
This survey of 25 to 45-year-old women with at least one vaginal birth reported that approximately half of women expressed concern over vaginal looseness.
“Looseness” has also been reported to be the most common physical concern discussed with OBGYNs after vaginal childbirth.
So, at the very least, we know that this is a meaningful concern for many women following vaginal birth.
Here’s a reframe for you.
THE FEMALE BODY IS A NEBULOUS ORACLE OF MIRACLES & MAGIC.
- Our vaginas shorten, lengthen, expand, and shrink in response to pregnancy, birth, feelings of safety or fear, arousal and/or insertion of menstrual hygiene products.
- The uterus goes through major changes when you’re pregnant. The lining of your uterus thickens, your blood vessels widen and your uterus grows several times its normal size. Once you no longer need these changes to support your pregnancy, your uterus returns to its pre-pregnancy state thanks to a process called involution.
Although changes in the elasticity of the vulva and vagina are entirely normal following childbirth, it is not possible to permanently stretch it out with sex or with babies.
These harmful myths are the reason women and men continue to find themselves grounded in these fears and judgments. And it has to stop.
Here’s the kicker: vaginal looseness is a subjective and self-reported sexual health concern. There are no objective measures of it, which means an investigation of it is challenging.
This whacky function called proprioception happens in pregnancy where a natural loss of body awareness takes shape. This makes it hard to feel your pelvic floor muscles and connect to the pussy portal. And as a result, the continued separation from body follows us into motherhood where this sudden ‘feeling everything’ (highlighted by the physical trauma sustained in birth) makes us feel like we are split wide open—exaggerating an already distorted perception of what’s going on down there.
Plus, most of the time vaginal laxity is lumped in with other female sexual dysfunctions experienced after birth.
One recent Australian study of first time mothers found that some form of female sexual dysfunction was reported in 58% of mothers one year after childbirth.
The main complaints included insufficient lubrication, abnormal vaginal sensation, vaginal laxity, vaginal tightness, pain with intercourse, and incontinence during intercourse.
To note, there is a huge difference between vaginal prolapse and vaginal laxity. If you’re still confused, please seek out a health care provider who can help identify this for you.
Dr. Danielle Arabena is a Specialist General Practitioner, IBCLC and Women’s Health Specialist focused on birth, perinatal health and breastfeeding. She shares her insights on what to do if you think you may have a vaginal prolapse,
“Holistic women’s health can be a great help with prolapse symptoms—which unfortunately are often overlooked after birth. Early assessment by a physiotherapist or other care provider is key, and general family or personal history should be mentioned. Treatments that balance the physical and energetics of the womb space/pelvic bowl, such as holistic pelvic care, can aid immensely in not only the successful assessment of the pelvic floor integrity, but also in restoring the energetic womb imprint. Some of these techniques include intervaginal massage with myofascial release, trigger point work as well as breathwork, and visualization tools to assist core physical and energetic balance. It’s good to do these treatments in the postpartum period, usually around 8 weeks when most of the birth hormones return to normal and their impacts on the pelvic floor subside. Other modalities and lifestyle management will help, too.”
In my opinion, the lack of physiotherapy and pelvic floor rehabilitation available to women after childbirth (especially those giving birth with the use of instruments like forceps) is a major disservice to women who have given birth.
It impedes their ability to bond with their babies or breastfeed, affects intimacy between partners and breaks down relationships, contributes to significant mental health issues that arise as a result of chronic pain, and too-frequently end up forcing serious surgery onto women 5-10 years down the road.
All these are repercussions that are much more serious than the fears we have around not being the tightest vagina on the market.
While Kegels are an option, they are not the be-all, end-all of self-repair methods.
In fact, they can do more harm than good if you’re not careful.
Try adding yoni mapping, belly binding, core support practices, supportive garments, intentional movement, strengthening exercises, Kegel type devices with an accompanying app to provide instructions, breathwork, topical creams or oils combined and better lifestyle choices in the postpartum period to your recover-from-birth arsenal.
Your (perfect-no-matter-what) coochie will thank you later.
With love and lust,
The Hoochie Mama
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